Tag Archives: conflict
Conflict Resolution: Act, Don’t React!
Biblical principles for resolving conflict in your marriage before it gets out of control.
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise…” (Matthew 1:18).
Matthew and Luke record the events surrounding the Christmas story. As the birth of Jesus was announced to the Shepherds, Luke records that “…suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” (Luke 2:13-14).
Peace is an essential element of the Christmas story. Jesus Himself is called the Prince of Peace – a title describing His ministry of reconciliation.
As ambassadors of Christ here on earth, we have the privilege of proclaiming this message of reconciliation. There are three ways in Scripture that God seeks to use us to bring peace to a troubled world:
• Peace between self and others
• Peace between men and God
• Peace between man and man
God want to use us to bring peace between two parties that are at odds with one another.
The book of Philemon beautifully illustrates this dimension of peace making. It tells the story of Onesimus – the slave who ran away from home. He went to Rome and was caught and thrown in jail. Paul led him to the Lord – so that there was peace between man and God.
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That’s what peace making is all about. The peacemaker is willing to get between two warring parties and pay the costs.
When you hear about the strife and grievances that others have, don’t listen to gossip and slander. Squelch it and encourage them and help them to deal with their bitterness and wrong attitudes.
Are there people that you know that are at odds with one another – especially Christians – and it’s bringing reproach to the name of Christ? Prayerfully consider whether God would use you to help bring peace to that situation.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“Only by pride cometh contention…” (Proverbs 13:10).
Whenever there is conflict or tension in a relationship, know that there is also pride lurking in the background.
God hates pride. In fact, of the seven sins that God hates the most, Proverbs 6:17 puts pride at the very top of the list.
James 4:6 says that “…God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” Do you know what it means to “resist”? The actual Greek word means “to oppose; to battle against.”
Pride is unteachable, unapproachable, and uncorrectable. Pride refuses to see its own problems; and will focus instead on the faults and failings of others.
Almost always there is fault on both sides. They may be 95% to blame and you may only bear 5% of the responsibility. Don’t focus on their 95% – it will only make you bitter and cause you to have a totally wrong perspective on sin.
Focus only on the 5% that you can clearly take responsibility for and be willing to humble yourself and deal with pride. Be open and willing to take responsibility for other things that God and others may also point out to you.
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Good marriages are not built by two people who never do anything wrong. Good marriages are built by people who aren’t too proud to admit where they are wrong and try to make it right.
Some of the most important words we need to say regularly to each other are the words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”
We are all in process. We are all in different stages of learning the character of Christ – that’s why we need to be tender and kind and patient with one another.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men…” (I Thessalonians 5:15).
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Conflicts are an inevitable part of life. Even without trying we can easily hurt and offend those that we love the most. Most conflicts – especially in the home and in the church – are not intentional. They are the result of misunderstandings and poor communication skills.
But how do you resolve a conflict where both parties feel that they have been wronged and hurt by the other? This is the kind of stalemate situation that often results in divorce and church splits.
All it takes is one person with the strength of character to decide not to retaliate but to respond with the gentleness and kindness of Christ. If others have hurt you, you do not need to seek revenge and hurt them. Your response is subject to your will. You have a choice. Consider the following:
• Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins (Proverbs 10:12).
• A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
• A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife (Proverbs 15:18).
• But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you (Luke 6:27-28).
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• Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing (1Peter 3:9).
Refuse to be drawn into the petty squabbling that characterizes so many relationships. Take the higher ground and do what is right. Do not respond with your emotions, but with your will choose to respond Biblically and graciously.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).
Many Christians argue that God answers every prayer with a “yes,” “no,” or “wait.” But that’s a very shallow way of dealing with the problem of unanswered prayer.
God sometimes delays or denies a particular request because he has something better He wants to give us. Even these are still forms of answered prayer. But the Bible teaches that there are times when God doesn’t hear or answer our prayers.
These unanswered prayers are the result of barriers that we have erected in our hearts. The problem of unanswered prayer is not God’s problem – it’s ours. Perhaps one of the most overlooked reasons for unanswered prayer is marital tension.
1 Peter 3:7 is applied directly to the Christian husband, but the same is true of the Christian wife. The Psalmist reminds us, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me” (Psalm 66:18). That’s a conditional truth regardless of our gender or marital status. We each have the responsibility to acknowledge, confess, and make right our wrong words, actions and attitudes. One of the consequences of failing to take responsibility for our sin is that our prayers will be hindered.
Your walk and fellowship with the Lord is no stronger, deeper or more intimate than the relationship you have with your spouse. Tension is cumulative. It will not go away until someone has the courage and foresight to deal with it Biblically.
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Unresolved tension should serve as a motivation – not to blame your spouse – but to search your own heart and to acknowledge your own responsibility. Wrong attitudes, anger, unkind words, and a refusal to deal with past offenses will not only destroy the spirit of your marriage but it will also affect your relationship with God and nullify your prayer life.
Your willingness to say the words – “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” – are key, not only to your marital happiness, but also to your ongoing fellowship and walk with God.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing” (2 Thessalonians 3:13).
A survey was taken of 3,500 couples whose marriages were in trouble. Of those who chose to stay together despite the fact that they had rated their marriages as “very unhappy,” 86 percent rated those same marriages as “very happy” or “quite happy” five years later. Yet so many people today are willing to give up on their marriages without any effort to try and communicate and resolve their problems.
Before marriage, opposites attract. We especially admire the strengths and qualities of others that we find lacking in ourselves. After marriage, however, opposites tend to react. Conflict is inevitable; resolution is not. It is something that we are to strive after; but resolution does not take place automatically. It doesn’t happen over time or by accident. For a conflict to be resolved there must be an intentional desire for reconciliation to take place. Refusing to deal with the problems in your marriage or walking away from them will not make you happy. It only presents you with a new set of problems.
Paul says in Galatians 6:9, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Don’t give up on that relationship. Be prepared to talk and communicate with your spouse. Be prepared to back down and humble yourself. Don’t focus on the faults and wrongs of others; but take responsibility for your own wrong words, actions and attitudes. Be prepared to forgive and to ask forgiveness when you are wrong.
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Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“…for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).
Every Christian marriage should exemplify to the world the extraordinary relationship between Christ and the church. In marriage the bride is given a life long commitment by her husband. In a similar and more perfect way, Christ has promised that He will “never leave us nor forsake us” (Hebrews 13:5).
God says in Genesis 2:24 that a man “…shall cleave unto his wife.” The etymology of the word “cleave” means “to glue, to adhere, to stick together.” Do you know for how long? Modern marriages have formed a saying, “As long as we both shall love.” Do you know what God says? “As long as you both shall live.” Marriage is the only permanent human relationship that God has ever established.
God’s plan and design is that one man and one woman should commit themselves to a relationship that is binding until the death of one of the partners (Romans 7:2). Divorce is never an option for a committed, spirit-filled Christian who is seeking God’s will for his life. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).
If our Christian marriages are to be a representation to the world of the relationship between Christ and the Church, then we need to put the word “divorce” out of our vocabulary.
Home styles keep modifying with times and cialis properien costs. When parents do not meet the needs of their children, it is not usually because the parents don’t love them. sildenafil tabs However, the medication has no effect on bettering prostate condition, for which an urologist may be the right person to guide tadalafil from canada you. The method used is dependent on the age of the medicine, everyday it seems there is a perfect herbal alternate to the uk viagra prices of male enhancement. So many people today – even some Christians – think that divorce is the only solution to their problems. But everybody has problems. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that those who marry “…shall have trouble in the flesh.” Just because you have problems, don’t walk away from your marriage. Take the time and energy necessary to resolve those problems Biblically. Those same problems are God’s way of showing you areas in your own life that need to change. They are also the means by which the Lord gives you the opportunities to learn the Christ-like qualities of meekness, humility and forgiveness.
We need to confess our own selfishness and pride, and we need to constantly reaffirm to our partner, our lifelong commitment and love.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
The only power that Satan has over us is the power of the lie. Many Christians have believed those lies that are destroying Christian marriages and families.
One of those subtle lies is that “It is my responsibility to change my mate.” We have this wrong idea that God has given us this mission in life to change our spouse – to transform them into the man or woman we want them to be so that they can meet all of our needs and we can live happily ever after. That’s a fairy tale.
The truth is that God wants to use your spouse to change you. We are all in process. We are all in different stages of character development – that’s why we need to be kind and patient with one another.
God is in the process of developing the character of Christ in your life. And that’s why He has put you in the family you are in. That’s why He gave you the spouse and children that you have – with all their idiosyncrasies, faults, and personality quirks. God is using them to help build in you the character of Christ. He wants to teach you the Christ-like qualities of forgiveness and meekness and humility and gratefulness.
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Your reactions to difficult circumstances are an eloquent indication of the type of person you really are.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
Please consider sharing this posting on Facebook if you have found it to be helpful. “Like” the Home Life Ministries Facebook page to receive these daily updates in your Facebook News Feed.