One of the most effective ways to teach and encourage Godly character in your children is to praise. Praise is a purifier. It motivates those we praise to develop more of that same quality. But you need to be very careful what you praise; because whatever you praise you will get more of.
If you laugh at a child’s rude behavior, you can expect more of the same. It may seem “cute” when he’s a toddler, but I guarantee you that it won’t be “cute” when he’s sixteen years old. However, if you continually praise a child for his truthfulness and his diligence then you’re going to get more of that.
You need to distinguish carefully between character and achievement. We tend to praise knowledge, position, achievement, beauty or strength; and whenever we praise these things it is easy to create pride, envy, jealousy, and conflict. What we need to praise is character!
If you praise achievement, then it is possible for those with the least character to get the most praise – and that’s wrong!
We don’t all have the same physical and mental abilities; but we all have equal opportunity and ability to be kind, forgiving, humble, and meek. As we mature, we recognize our own inability to live out these qualities in our own strength. How do you forgive someone who has deeply hurt and wronged you? That’s when we need to draw upon the indwelling power of Christ.
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Why should we praise? Because Jesus is the personification of every character quality and we need to encourage each other to be more like Him. It’s amazing what a little bit of praise can do to encourage a son or a daughter.
Praise your child for even the smallest display of any character quality. And if you can’t think of anything, ask your spouse to show you areas where you can praise that child. Someone has said that even a conceited person has at least one good quality: he doesn’t talk about other people. So look for ways today to praise your son or daughter.
Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries
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