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Conflict Resolution: Admit, Don’t Quit!

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The first step in resolving conflict is to take personal responsibility for your own wrong action, words, and attitudes.

Conflict Resolution: Act, Don’t React!

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Biblical principles for resolving conflict in your marriage before it gets out of control.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Children are not naturally inclined to follow God’s Ways. You don’t have to teach children how to steal, cheat, lie or how to be disobedient. That comes naturally for all children. But you do need to teach them how to be truthful, how to respect authority, how to show kindness and forgiveness, and how to love and worship God.

Before they can apply and live out these ideals, they need to be taught them. Now that’s the responsibility of every Sunday School teacher and youth group leader. But it’s also the responsibility of every parent.

If God has blessed you with children, then He has given you the responsibility of teaching and instructing them in the ways of God. It’s not the primary responsibility of the church, youth leader, or pastor to lead your children to faith in Christ – it’s the responsibility of the Christian home!

Sometimes I fear we can be so eloquent in reaching out to others – yet by our words and actions and our attitudes at home, we literally drive our children away from God.

If the only time your children see you with an open Bible is on a Sunday morning at church and never or rarely in your home, they’re going to grow up with the idea that God’s Word isn’t all that important after all.

The preferred form of the supermodels is best achieved https://www.unica-web.com/data-privacy-english.html order cialis online by using Acai Capsules. This overnight cialis soft service is provided to you 24 hours. It is available in a chewable viagra side effects candy form. Moreover using it patients can get the enhanced sexual life. canada viagra cialis When your children ask you questions about life, don’t just give them your pat answers. Take them to the Word of God. Show them that the ultimate authority for life on any subject is not Hollywood, not their teachers at school, and it’s certainly not their peers.

There is a lot more to training up a child than simply taking them to church and Sunday school each week.

Could I encourage you – if you are not spending regular time together with your family around the Word of God then you are missing out on one of the most effective ways to pass on your faith to your children.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Scripture stresses the importance of parents teaching the principles of God’s Word to their children through the daily reading and instruction of God’s Word. This is primarily the responsibility of the Christian home – not the church or Sunday school.

When a father spends time with his family each day around God’s Word, it will make a lasting impact in the lives of the children. When they see their father excited about God’s Word they get excited about it too. As they begin each day in the Word of God, it starts to become a part of their life and influences their thinking and their actions. They begin to see life from God’s perspective, and are much more likely to detect Satan’s lies and avoid the pitfalls of his deception.

Fathers, we need to pass on to our children Scriptural convictions and not just preferences. Preferences can change depending upon the circumstances, but convictions never change. Spending daily time together around the Bible provides a time and place for a father to share and pass on his Scriptural convictions to his children.

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Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).

Evangelism is sharing the Good News of the Gospel and leading someone to know and accept Christ as their Savior. It represents part of the fulfilling of the Great Commission that Jesus charged us with at the end of the Gospels (Mark 16:15).

We may not have the specific gift of evangelism but we must all share the responsibility to “…do the work of an evangelist” (2 Timothy 4:5).

The Lord may burden us to pray for the salvation of specific people groups or individuals. He will providentially bring people across our path that He expects us to share the Gospel with. As difficult as it may seem, it’s what we must do.

But there is something even more difficult for which we each have a shared responsibility – it’s trying to restore an erring Christian. That’s what many of the New Testament epistles are all about – rebuking, exhorting, encouraging Christians to believe the Truth and to walk in the Truth.

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We need to do more of that. We need to be involved in each other’s lives exhorting one another to do what is right. There are some who are quick to condemn and confront but their motive and their attitude are wrong. It must be done “in the spirit of meekness.” We are to speak “the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he… (Proverbs 23:7).

Some say that it doesn’t matter what you believe, just so long as you live right. I have a problem with that because what you believe determines how you live. If your belief system is wrong not only will it affect how you live your life but it will also have implications all the way into eternity.

If you believe that we are the product of evolutionary chance then issues like abortion and euthanasia will be of little or no concern. The ultimate conclusion of this belief system is that we are a sophisticated mammal slightly more advanced than our close relatives in the animal kingdom and have no more rights on planet earth than a fruit fly. Since there is no creator that we are responsible to and no moral absolutes to guide our behavior, everything is relative. It is therefore justifiable to steal, lie, cheat and kill as determined by our own individual set of circumstances. This is the thought process that directs our post modern culture.

If on the other hand you believe that we are created in the image of God and that we will one day stand before Him and have to give an account for every word, deed, thought, attitude and motive – that will make an incredible impact upon how you live your life. This is what the “fear of the Lord” is all about – the awareness that He is always watching and that everything we do and say and think is open before Him and will one day be judged by Him.

What we really believe in our hearts is reflected in our attitudes and in our behavior. Which begs the question, “Why then do we as Christians behave in a way inconsistent with the teaching of Scripture?” It’s because at that moment we have accepted and believed a lie.

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Perhaps you need to make a “truth adjustment” as you begin your day. Reject the lies of the enemy and submit yourself to be governed – not by emotions or expedience – but by the authority and truth of God’s Word.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12).

Scripture makes it clear that how we live our lives as Christians in this life will have an effect all the way through eternity. While our eternal destiny will never be called into question if we have put our faith and trust in Christ as Savior, our rewards and position in the Kingdom of Heaven are being determined by how we live here and now.

There will be rewards of gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay and stubble (1 Corinthians 3:11-15). Jesus says that there will be those who will be “great” in the Kingdom of Heaven and those who will be “the least” (Matthew 5:19).

These rewards and positions will be determined at the Judgement Seat of Christ – “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

Sins that have been confessed and repented of will never be called into question. The Psalmist says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12). But we will be held accountable for those sins that we have ignored or hidden and refused to deal with.

At the Judgement Seat of Christ, each Christians will be held responsible for every thought (2 Corinthians 10:4-5), word (Matthew 12:36), deed (2 Corinthians 5:10), attitude (Philippians 2:5), and motive (Jeremiah 17:9-10). Every secret sin will be revealed and all our hypocrisy will be exposed as we stand before the Son of God. It’s for this reason that the goal for every Christian should be to develop – and to teach our children to develop and maintain – a clear conscience before God and man.
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A clear conscience is one that allows me to look every person in the eye knowing that not one of them can point a finger at me and say, “You wronged me and you never tried to make it right.”

Is there someone who comes to mind right now that you have knowingly wronged or offended? Perhaps it’s a spouse or family member. Don’t hesitate to make it right. Take responsibility – even for those wrong attitudes that we have a tendency to ignore – and make it right.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7).

Statistics tell us that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. Many that remain together will experience what the so-called experts have called “psychological divorce” – this is where a couple may live in the same home together but they are not experiencing the oneness or harmony which God intends for their marriage.

Good marriages are not built by two people who never do anything wrong. Good marriages are built by people who aren’t too proud to admit when they are wrong and try to make it right.

Some of the most important words that every married couple needs to learn to say regularly to each other are the words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”

God is in the process of developing the character of Christ in each of our lives. That’s why He has put you in the family you are in – with all their idiosyncrasies, faults, and personality quirks. And that’s one of the reasons why He’s given you your spouse. He wants to teach you the Christ-like qualities of forgiveness and meekness and humility and gratefulness – and married life will give you many opportunities to learn these qualities.

We are all in process. We are all in different stages of character development – that’s why we need to be tender and kind and patient with one another. Don’t focus on your spouse’s faults. God can take care of them in His own unique way and timing. Focus rather on your own character deficiencies and begin to take responsibility for your own wrong words, actions and attitudes.
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Always be open to what God is trying to do in your life through your spouse. Do you tend to react to the same things over and over again? Instead of reacting in anger and frustration, try and see your circumstances from God’s perspective. Is there a particular character quality that He is working to build into your life? Those contention points in your marriage can be the doorway to developing more of the character of Christ.

When you have learned the lesson that the Lord is trying to teach you, not only does it “please the Lord,” but there will be a new “peace” and harmony in your marriage relationship (Proverbs 16:7).

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD” (1 Samuel 1:27-28).

The Bible encourages Christian parents to dedicate their children to the Lord. Samuel, Samson and even the Lord Jesus Himself was presented and dedicated before the Lord. Samuel was consecrated to the Lord by his mother, Hannah, before he was even conceived (1 Samuel 1:11).

In dedicating each child to God, even before they are born, we reaffirm the fact that each child belongs to Him. They’re not ours. They certainly don’t belong to the state – as much as the state would like to be able to control them and educate them. But God has entrusted our children into our hands for the express purpose of building God’s ways into their young lives and rearing them for His glory. That’s why it is important to remember that as parents we must give an account to God as to how we reared our children.

God has a very specific plan and purpose for each one of our children’s lives. Our job as parents is to help them discover that purpose and to encourage them to live for the Lord all the days of their lives.

A pastor once told me of parents who supposedly had dedicated their daughter to the Lord when she was just a baby. The parents prayed that the Lord would use their child some day on mission field. As the child grew she accepted Christ as her Savior, and when she was older she told her parents that the Lord was calling her to mission field. Those parents did everything they could to prevent their daughter from leaving!
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Don’t hold on to your children if you’ve given them to the Lord. Encourage them to follow the Lord with all their hearts all the days of their lives!

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“For I, saith the LORD, will be unto her a wall of fire round about, and will be the glory in the midst of her…for he that toucheth you toucheth the apple of his eye” (Zechariah 2:5,8).

Marriage serves to illustrate the very special relationship between Christ and the church. In marriage a woman enters into her husband’s protection just as believers enter into the protection of Christ.

It is absolutely essential that the husband assumes his God-given role as spiritual leader in the home in order to provide spiritual protection for his wife and family. This principle is graphically illustrated in Matthew 12:29 – Jesus said, “How else can one enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house.”

What the Lord is saying is this: if you want to take and plunder the possessions of a strong man, then the first thing you need to do is to bind him so that he is powerless to interfere. If he is bound, you are then at liberty to plunder all that is under his jurisdiction.

Now I want to apply this to the Christian home. If Satan wants to destroy a Christian marriage or family, where does he begin? He first has to bind the strong man – the husband and father – because the husband and father provides spiritual protection for his family from the destructive influences of Satan. But if there is sin and areas of compromise in that man’s life, this provides Satan with the opportunity to attack those that are under his jurisdiction (Exodus 34:7).

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As men, we need to realize the seriousness of our responsibilities as spiritual leaders in our homes and protect our family not just from physical harm but also from the spiritual attacks of the enemy.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

Many Christians argue that God answers every prayer with a “yes,” “no,” or “wait.” But that’s a very shallow way of dealing with the problem of unanswered prayer.

God sometimes delays or denies a particular request because he has something better He wants to give us. Even these are still forms of answered prayer. But the Bible teaches that there are times when God doesn’t hear or answer our prayers.

These unanswered prayers are the result of barriers that we have erected in our hearts. The problem of unanswered prayer is not God’s problem – it’s ours. Perhaps one of the most overlooked reasons for unanswered prayer is marital tension.

1 Peter 3:7 is applied directly to the Christian husband, but the same is true of the Christian wife. The Psalmist reminds us, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me” (Psalm 66:18). That’s a conditional truth regardless of our gender or marital status. We each have the responsibility to acknowledge, confess, and make right our wrong words, actions and attitudes. One of the consequences of failing to take responsibility for our sin is that our prayers will be hindered.

Your walk and fellowship with the Lord is no stronger, deeper or more intimate than the relationship you have with your spouse. Tension is cumulative. It will not go away until someone has the courage and foresight to deal with it Biblically.
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Unresolved tension should serve as a motivation – not to blame your spouse – but to search your own heart and to acknowledge your own responsibility. Wrong attitudes, anger, unkind words, and a refusal to deal with past offenses will not only destroy the spirit of your marriage but it will also affect your relationship with God and nullify your prayer life.

Your willingness to say the words – “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” – are key, not only to your marital happiness, but also to your ongoing fellowship and walk with God.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“Looking unto Jesus…” (Hebrews 12:2).

As we look in the Scriptures, we find that the teaching of Jesus is our instruction for living the Christian life. It’s not a matter of becoming a Christian and just doing our own thing. The Lord Jesus Christ has standards and instructions for every area of our lives.

Every decision we make needs to be based squarely upon the Word of God.

Life is held together by a very intricate series of cause-and-effect relationships. You can’t obey the teachings of Christ without being blessed. You cannot disobey them without there being consequences. And in every area of life where we disobey or ignore the teachings of Christ there will be resulting conflicts and problems.

I’ve come to the conclusion that very few people actually want Biblical counsel. It’s very easy to help people who are desperate and are longing for a closer walk with God. It’s impossible to help people that merely want a resolution of their conflicts.

Parents want help with troubled youth but not enough to change their own wrong attitudes. People want help with their marriage but not enough to take responsibility for their own sin and say, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”

There are free samples viagra various ways to investigate the quality of any given product. An online forum is a great way to detox and muscle relief. viagra sales australia And can be improved with tongkat ali consumption. cialis samples The first big decision cheapest cialis soft after deciding to host a baby shower is to choose what type baby shower they want to host. So often we base our decisions and actions on feelings or preferences rather than on the rock solid teaching of God’s Word.

It doesn’t matter what you or I think, or even what our favorite author or radio preacher says – it matters what the Bible says. That’s all that matters. That means we need to be men and women of the Word and we need to live not according to opinions or preferences but we need to live by Biblical standards. We need to forgive even when we don’t feel like it. We need to be honest when it would be easier to lie or cheat.

Don’t allow the enemy to distract and fool you with his lies. Dedicate yourself afresh to the authority of God’s Word.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace…But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up” (Daniel 3:17-18).

There would certainly be strong objections if our government rounded up our young people and sent them off to war without providing any kind of training. Yet many Christian young people are sent to schools and institutions where they are indoctrinated with humanistic philosophy and are exposed to all kinds of pressures from their peers without receiving any preparation or training at home.

Home is the boot camp of the Christian life. It’s where we are supposed to teach and train our children and prepare them for the battlefield of life. Certainly if you homeschool your children, you are provided with a tremendous opportunity to invest in their young lives. But even if you don’t homeschool, you have an even greater need and responsibility to train and prepare your children for the pressures they will encounter on a daily basis.

Life is meaningless apart from Jesus Christ, and it is the responsibility of every Christian parent to communicate this to their children. The most effective way to communicate this truth to your children is not only to teach it but to practice it. Show them that Jesus Christ is really important to you by spending time with them daily in God’s Word. If they ask you a question, don’t just tell them what you think; ask them what God thinks and take them to the Word of God for their answers. Don’t just tell them that they can’t do a certain thing; explain the Biblical principle behind the restriction. The reason why Scripture time and time again says, “Teach these things to your children…” is so that your children will have a vital spiritual purpose for living.

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Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).

How we respond when we have been hurt or wronged is an eloquent indication of our walk with God. As Christians we are called to a higher standard than the world. That standard highlights our inability to live the Christian life in our own strength. We can’t pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We are totally inadequate for the task.

The following passages of Scripture reveal the standard to which we are held accountable as Christians:

  • Luke 6:27-29 – But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.
  • Romans 12:21 – Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
  • 1 Peter 3:9 – Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

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Two wrongs do not make a right. The writer of Proverbs says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). We do not need to treat others in the same way that we have been treated. It is clear from these passages of Scripture that we need to act – not react. Neither should we simply be passive; but God’s Word confirms the need to actively rise above the tit-for-tat behaviour that characterizes so many failing relationships.

This is what should set us apart as Christians; and why we need to daily draw on the power of the Risen Christ. The wrongs committed against us are opportunities for us to grow in our walk with God as we acknowledge the Truth of His Word and submit ourselves to be governed by its principles rather than our emotions.

Morris Hull
Home Life Ministries

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